Monday, August 5, 2013

Not Even Good At Crime: 3 Hilarious Criminal Fails

By Damien

Some people just aren’t meant to assimilate properly into modern day society. These people usually turn to crime… and sometimes they’re not even good at that. Check out these hilarious criminal fails.

He Didn't Win the Lottery, Just a Trip to the Burn Unit
In the city of Rome - Rome, Georgia - a man decided to rob a convenience store. While stocking up on the usual supplies like smokes and booze, he decided he needed to cover his tracks (apparently he didn't consider the security cameras that were recording everything). Our brilliant criminal friend decided to do this by lighting the store on fire... what could possibly go wrong? Well, he wasn't as cautious as he should have been with the lighter fluid and caught himself on fire. What did he do at this point? Grabbed a rack of lottery tickets and ran, still on fire.
The best part? He never got caught. Maybe he wasn't that dumb after all.

They Really Get Those Things In There
Admit it. You've silently wondered to yourself how hard it would be to steal an entire ATM machine. You know, those little ones they have at gas stations. You tie it up with chains, hook it to your Dodge, and haul ass - you can worry about cracking it open later, as long as you have that sweet, sweet cash.
Well, that's what two slow-witted guys in Milwaukee, Wyoming thought too - except they found out that all of these ATMs are bolted to the floor. They couldn't manage to dislodge the damn thing, so they left. The ATM still worked the next day.

Dude Are You Serious Right Now
Oh, the stupidity of youth.
Two young guys from Adlington, England, broke into one of the buildings at a kid's camp site. They weren't there to steal anything, just to vandalize the place for kicks. So after breaking stuff and - this is great - shooting off all of the fire extinguishers in the place, they did a little graffiti as well. The problem was, one of the guys was so incredibly, wildly, bizarrely retarded to have written his name on the wall - needless to say, Peter Addison got busted.

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