Have you ever noticed how some
people captivate everyone they speak to? No matter what they look like or how
much money they have, they can walk into a room and instantly be the center of
attention. When they leave, people think highly of them and want to emulate
them. That’s charisma, a sort of magnetism that inspires confidence and
adoration. Like beauty, luck, and social position, charisma can open many doors
in life. Unlike these other qualities, anyone can become more charismatic.
Improve
your posture. Good posture will give the impression of self
confidence (even if you don’t feel that way on the inside). While walking,
maintain a relaxed yet definitive upright posture: spine long, shoulders back,
head level with the ground. This may feel awkward or overpowering to you when
you first practice it, but keep trying.
Relax the muscles in your face
to the point where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved
there. Face the world and show everyone you’re not afraid.
Make a connection.
When your eyes come in contact with another person’s, nod and smile subtly with
a subdued joy shining forth. Don’t worry about the other person’s reaction and
don’t overdo it.
Remember people’s names
when you meet them for the first time. This takes an enormous amount of effort
for most people. Repeat the person’s name when stating your name to that person
will help you to remember it better. For example: “Hi Jack, I’m Wendy.” Follow
through with small talk and repeat the person’s name. Repeat it once more when
you say goodbye. It’s not just about helping you to remember that person. The
more you say a person’s name, the more that person will feel that you like them
and the greater the chance they’ll warm up to you.
Be interested in people.
If you meet a new acquaintance, for example a coworker, a classmate, a friend
of a friend, etc. find out about their immediate family and interests. Be sure
to ask after the names of family members and remember them. Be careful in that
subject though you don’t want to be nosy. If you ask too much they will become
uncomfortable. Also ask after their particular interests in life. These two
topics will ensure much better small talk than just harping on about school or
work. Most people don’t like to think about those things at social occasions
unless they have to. Even if it is about networking, you should understand
fully the worth of taking a break from talking shop. It is important to refrain
from talking up about yourself. Be purely interested and impressed by the
person with whom you are speaking.
Orient topics toward the
audience. This means taking into account topics that interest
those around you, even if you are not so keen on them. If you are in a sporty
crowd, talk about last night’s game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you
are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their hobbies and make remarks
related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, etc. Nobody expects
you to be an expert. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in
topics that makes you an interesting person to be around. Exercise an open
mind. Let others do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more
about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but
that you are hoping to learn more about it.
Praise others instead of
gossiping. If you are talking with someone or you are talking
in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another person in a positive
or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person.
Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm because it is always viewed
as 100% sincere. It has the added benefit of creating trust in you. The idea
will spread that you never have a bad word to say about anyone. Everyone will
know that their reputation is safe with you.
Don’t Lie. A lie
is something you say for which there is some direct evidence somewhere out
there that contradicts it. If you tell Mary that you like Jane and Billy that
you don’t like Jane, Mary and Billy will talk and your reputation will be
ruined. No one will believe a word you say.
Issue compliments generously,
especially to raise others’ self esteem. Try to pick out something that you
appreciate in any situation and verbally express that appreciation. If you like
something or someone, find a creative way to say it and say it immediately.
If you wait too long, it may be viewed as insincere and badly timed, especially
if others have beaten you to it. If you notice that someone is putting a lot of
effort into something, compliment it, even if you feel that there is room for
improvement. If you notice that someone has changed something about themselves
haircut, manner of dress) notice it, and point out something you like about it.
If you are asked directly, be charming and deflect the question with a very
general compliment.
Be gracious in accepting
compliments. Get out of the habit of assuming that the
compliment is being given without genuine intent. Even when someone makes a
compliment out of contempt, there is always a germ of jealous truth hiding in
their own heart. Be effusive in accepting the compliment. Go beyond a mere
“thank you” and enjoin this with “I’m glad you like it” or “It is so kind of
you to have noticed.” These are “compliments in return.” Avoid backhanding a
compliment. There is nothing worse to a person complimenting than to receive
the response “Oh well I wish I was as ____ as you/that situation.” That is
tantamount to saying, “No, I am not what you are saying I am, and your judgment
is wrong.”
Control your tone of voice.
The tone of your voice is crucial. Most people feel insecure somewhere inside
and have an inability to accept praise. For this very reason, when you praise,
do it subtly and glibly. When you say, “you look nice today” it should be in the
exact same tone that you would use to say “it’s a nice day.” Any variation from
your normal tone will arouse suspicion about your sincerity. Practice giving
compliments into a recorder and play it back. Does it sound sincere? Practice
until you get it right.. It might not sound right to you, in that case, ask
someone for judgement.
Tips
Developing charisma is an art. The
general guidelines above can help you be more charismatic, but your charisma
must come from within you and must reflect you as an individual or it will
appear fake. Fortunately, everyone has the ability to be charismatic, and it
simply needs to be coaxed out. Practice and take note of what works and what
needs improvement.
Don’t mimic others.
People with well developed charisma have a remarkable ability not only to sway
people’s opinions but also to cause others to emulate their personalities and
even gestures. At the same time, however, research has shown that charismatic
people do not emulate other charismatic people. Their individuality sets them
apart.
Have a message. Don’t
be afraid to be controversial, to push the envelope. If you believe in
something or feel strongly about it, communicate that in a respectful way. Your
charisma will help people be accepting of your ideas.
Source :http://karmicmantra.com
No comments:
Post a Comment