Friday, January 14, 2011

Korelasi Buah Dengan Manusia

Jangan suka pamer
Jadilah seperti jagung, jangan seperti gajus.
Jagung membungkus bijinya yang banyak, sedangkan gajus mempamerkan bijinya yang cuma satu-satunya.

Setia terhadap pasangan
Jadilah seperti pohon pisang.
Kalau berbuah hanya sekali, lalu mati.

5 Toughest Questions

Answers to 5 of the toughest questions women ask...

There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine.

The five questions are:
1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"


What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Police Quotes

These are actual police officer quotes collected from numerous people stopped for moving traffic violations.

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"


Strongest Man

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet"

Life

Life comes an life goes
Somebody die and someone is born
Life is precious
Life is love
Life is everything we get from above


Monday, January 10, 2011

Your Personality By Signing Style

SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life".

TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are considered to be romantic, can easily change their fiances as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others.

Your Personality By Month

JANUARY
*Ambitious and serious *Loves to teach and be taught *Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses *Likes to criticize *Hardworking and productive *Smart, neat and organised *Sensitive and has deep thoughts *Knows how to make others happy *Quiet unless excited or tensed *Rather reserved *Highly attentive *Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds *Romantic but has difficulties expressing love *Loves children *Homely person *Loyal *Needs to improve social abilities *Easily jealous.

Your Personality By Name

Does your name begin with: A?
U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you never pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating; otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very practical, & not very emotional. Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.


Sunday, January 9, 2011

New Road Safety Regulation

The Road Transportation Department (JPJ) has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below.......

Beautiful Dream

You are all of my beautiful dreams,
Put together, and rolled into one.
You're the moon and stars in my sky,
And the light of my morning sun.


You're my first thought in the morning,
And my very last thought each night.
Dreams of you hold me through my day;
Bring comfort to me, until morning light.


Interesting Equation


Success Principles

Here are some Success Principles to help you achieve your goals in life. Very simple and easy to apply in day to day life. Wishing everyone lots of success in their lives!

The Magic Of Dreaming

The approach of a new year usually causes us to pause, review the year that's passing into history, recount our victories, and consider some of our nagging near misses. What went right? Where did we fall short? Then we move on, looking into the future and formulating our New Year's Resolutions? Or maybe not. Many of us have given up after failing to reach the desired ends we stated as resolutions year after year. Can we hope to have a different outcome in the coming year? Yes, we can! Here's how.

Be Careful When Fishing

You need to be careful when you go fishing
Surely you don't want such incident (below) to happen, especially to you...

Tolong Bantu! (2)

Minta tolong sekali lagi...
Ada sesiapa yang boleh terjemahkan maksud papan tanda ni?

Ini Fakta, Bukan Auta...

Permainan snooker berasal dari negara India.

Perkataan 'Karaoke' berasal dari Jepun yang bermaksud 'Orkestra Kosong'.

Perkataan 'checkmate' berasal dari bahasa parsi 'shah mat' yang bermaksud 'raja dah mati'.

Masalah Mata Lelaki Usia 50-an

BAGI GOLONGAN LELAKI, DEKAD KELIMA KEHIDUPAN DAN SETERUSNYA SERING MEMBAWA PERUBAHAN BESAR DALAM HIDUP. DI KALA USIANYA INILAH KEBANYAKAN LELAKI MULA DIANCAM MASALAH KESIHATAN.

Salah satu daripadanya adalah masalah berkaitan mata. Pancaindera ini juga akan mengalami perubahan akibat peningkatan usia. Sesetengah perubahan ini adalah normal dan berkait rapat dengan usia tetapi ada juga yang berpunca daripada datangnya penyakit.

Presbyopia (Rabun Dekat)
Penyakit ini adalah perubahan yang paling biasa berlaku, seseorang yang meningkat usianya kehilangan keupayaan untuk melihat dari jarak dekat. Mekanisme fokus mata pesakit sebegini telah menjadi semakin lemah sementara jalan penyelesaian paling mudah untuk masalah ini adalah dengan penggunaan ‘cermin mata membaca’ dari pakar mata.

The 4 Wives

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

The World Of your Smile

What would it take to make you smile?
Is it something as simple as the gift of flowers,
Or maybe the enthusiastic greeting of a loved pet,
An embrace from someone you love?

I`d celebrate with you in your triumphs,
Comfort you in sorrow,
Be a companion in trying times.
If it were in my power
I`d give you the world for your smile.

The Art Of Listening

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and
go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.

"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane....."

Love and Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. All except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment. When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Paradox

The paradox of our time is that
We spend more but have less
We buy more but enjoy less
We have bigger houses and smaller families
More conveniences but less time
We have more experts yet more problems
More medicine but less wellness
We drink too much, smoke too much
Spend too recklessly
Laugh too little, drive too fast
Get too angry, watch too much TV
And pray too little ….

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