By Rob Sass
Few things in the development of a new car are more crucial
than the name. In the case of a bland or mediocre car, it’s the last chance the
marketers have to generate some buzz. That may well be why some of the most
ordinary cars have wound up with some of the fiercest and flashiest names. Here
are five of our favorite inappropriately named cars:
The Sprint was built by Suzuki for Chevrolet. Powered by a rather
anemic three-cylinder engine, its acceleration off the line resembled not so
much a sprint but more of a drunken stumble. Its Suzuki-badged counterpart was
known by an equally inappropriate name, the Swift.
Mercury Bobcat
A bobcat is a rather fierce North American wild cat. The
Mercury Bobcat, on the other hand, was essentially a fancy Ford Pinto over
laden with chrome trim and other options that added on additional pounds,
sacrificing what little performance the Pinto possessed. While the feline
Bobcat is plentiful in the wild, the Mercury version is all but extinct.
Hyundai Excel
The Excel was the first car sold by Hyundai in the U.S., and given
the top-to-bottom excellence of the current Hyundai lineup, it’s probably a car
they’d prefer to forget. Other than cheapness, the Excel essentially excelled
at nothing - unless someone handed out an award for “crudest interior” or
“oddest-smelling plastic.”
AMC Hornet
The hornet is one pugnacious insect, and as anyone who has
ever been on the wrong side of one can attest, they definitely can sting. With
the exception of the rare S/C 360 version from 1971, the AMC Hornet was a
pleasant-looking and practical compact sedan without much of a sting.
Hudson
Jet
Jet planes were on the mind of nearly every car designer and
ad man in the U.S.
during the 1950s. Fins, bogus jet intakes, jet exhausts and jet hood
ornaments found their way onto countless cars from that decade. Curiously, the
Hudson Jet wasn’t among them. There was nothing even slightly swoopy or
jet-like about this thoroughly upright and conventional compact from a company
that later became part of American Motors.
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