By staff writer JD Rebello
The
Allied Invasion. The Trojan Horse. The Divine Plan. The following
strategy puts them all to shame because it defines how to finally defeat
the great beast of society: women.
Arguing with girls, like yoga, is a meaningless and inane exercise. A lot of guys hate doing it, most notably because it never seems like we can win. But you can win. Here's how.
Arguing with girls, like yoga, is a meaningless and inane exercise. A lot of guys hate doing it, most notably because it never seems like we can win. But you can win. Here's how.
Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it.
Compromise is useless
against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you
to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole fu***n'
Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)
Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots.
Ever argue with a girl about something
and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the
argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you
off-topic. Fight fire with fire,
I say. Tell her she has a fat ass, small boobs, an ugly face,
disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful
person.
Step 4. Cite precedent.
Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.
Step 5. Interrupt her.
Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.
Step 6. Don't take her seriously.
Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.
Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her.
If a girl can't find you, she can't
continue arguing about bullshit. Change your phone number, relocate, and
get a name change if you must.
Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please."
That's their way of making you let your
guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say
something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." Pisses
them off. Just trust me.
Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl.
This is especially effective if the
comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something
like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.
Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works.
That's their ultimate contingency,
knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let
yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes
from "Office Space" in your head if you must.
Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point."
Then stop. Leave the argument. It
pisses them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a
girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they
hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't
budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to shit.
Again, mind games.
Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag.
Self-explanatory.
Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother.
It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.
Remember, girls are the less intelligent of the genders. All throughout history men have out-thought, out-invented, and out-created women in every facet of existence. Isn't it about time we won an argument for once? Gentlemen, that time is now.
Source : http://www.pointsincase.com
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