Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Worst Movie Posters

Let’s face it, some movie posters are truly memorable, while others are fairly forgettable. But some posters came out so awful, they just …sucks! This is handpicked gallery of stupid, weird, funny, and bad photoshopped posters. If you have any suggestion,or favourite poster, we will gladly add more posters to our gallery :)

The Poughkeepsie Tapes
How many times do we have to tell you poster people? It’s 1990s, not 1990’s. And if the grammatical error wasn’t bad enough, the picture of a bunch of VHS tapes dumped on a table is about as exciting as the last time we cleared out our loft.

The Informers
According to the source material, this is an edgy flick set in ’83 LA featuring movie executives, rock stars and a vampire. According to the poster, it’s a remake of Mannequin. Did you know that The Informers stars the insanely beautiful Amber Heard? Not if all you’ve seen is this rubbish ad

The Rebound
We can’t decide which grosses us out more – the sight of some kid with a stripper’s knickers in his gob, or the fact that Catherine Zeta Jones’ face looks like something out of the third act of Brian Yuzna’s Society. Either way, we’ll be avoiding this one like Michael Douglas dodges coffins.

Race To Witch Mountain
Wow, cool! Helicopters! A spaceship! And… a taxi cab?! This has got to be the most unfair race in the world! And why are they racing to Witch Mountain, anyway? Is the prize Dwayne Johnson’s massive floating head? Or the Siamese twins that appear to be growing out of his ear? WE NEED ANSWERS!

The Unborn
Okay, at first glance this might look like the best poster ever made – it does contain an arse in pants, after all. But that’s the problem. We might glance up a bit to see that weird looking kid in the mirror, we may even glance down a bit to see what the film’s called, but we won’t linger on either long enough to retain the information. We’re too busy getting back to the arse. In pants. Brilliant.

After Life
So, who is that? Natalie Portman gone blonde? Anna Faris gone slim? Or just some unknown actress no-one cares about? If only we could see her face properly. Or even read the name above the title. Hey, I wonder what happened to Kate Bosworth. She hasn’t been in anything for ages. We used to like her.

Corky Romano
The look on Romano’s face is somewhere between orgasmic bliss and a man who’s in the process of taking a massive bowel movement. And it’s further emphasized by the fact that it’s the only freakin’ image on the poster. Was Chris Kattan really such a star at the time that they felt they could promote a movie with just his insanely grinning mug? With a color scheme that likely prompted a lawsuit from Hulk Hogan, the poster is moronic and not the least bit funny. Who is Corky Romano? Who gives a damn?

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
This movie is considered one of the all-time worst by both critics and fans. Not content with that distinction, the makers of the film also designed a poster so crappy that they were sure to be included on this prestigious list. I have to give credit where credit’s due; whoever was calling the shots for this one was certainly ambitious. I don’t have any children of my own, and this poster makes me want to keep it that way. Too bad the parents of the poster’s designers didn’t feel the same way.

Hercules in New York
Made in 1970, this movie (also known as Hercules Goes Bananas and simply Hercules) was the first feature role for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Much like Baby Geniuses 2, this also happens to be considered a contender for the worst film of all time. In fact, Arnold’s accent was so thick that his lines were dubbed over by another actor. With his large forehead and freakish muscles on display, the future action movie king looks to me to be dressed only in a towel. In some ways, I think this poster could easily be mistaken as an ad for a gay porno. The poster does an incredibly poor job of indicating the kind of action we might see in the film. With a barren black background, all we know for sure is that we’re going to see lots of some unknown muscular guy wearing a towel. Great idea for a gay porno. Horrible idea for anything else.

Up the Sandbox
In what proved to be one of her lowest-grossing films ever, Barbra Streisand starred Up the Sandbox, a 1972 movie that involved, among other things, armed robbery, tribal fertility music, a terrorist plot to blow up the Statue of Liberty… and one of the ugliest movie posters ever made.

Christine
One of many posters for the 1983 movie Christine, I must say it looks like a giant vagina with teeth.

Top Dog
Here’s a new Chuck Norris fact: his 1995 movie Top Dog sucks… and its poster took about 15 minutes to be made.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
On this poster for Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Spock and Kirk seem to be riding a gay rainbow to San Francisco, looking around bewildered at the gays.

One Crazy Summer
Awesome cast, but what’s that awful smiling sun doing in 1986 One Crazy Summer’s poster?

What’s The Worst That Can Happen?
What’s The Worst That Can Happen? This poster? Nope, the film’s even worse, sadly. To be fair, it lost us at the words ‘Martin’ and ‘Lawrence’. Danny DeVito deserves better.

Good Luck Chuck
A poster that matches the awfulness of the film. Good work in that sense, I suppose. I think I find this so offensive because I object to the fact that it’s mimicking an iconic picture of John and Yoko that featured on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. And not very well, either.

Bangkok Dangerous
I really like the original Bangkok Dangerous, but this Nic Cage re-make was pretty bad. I have no idea what’s happening in this poster. Is that an invisible gun in Cage’s hand? Why is he reaching into his coat? Does he have an itch? That must be it. That would certainly explain the look on his face.

One Missed Call
Stupid horror movies are often accompanied by equally stupid posters, but what the hell is going on here?! I have no idea what it will sound like when I do, but I sure hope it doesn’t look like that.

Slumdog Millionaire
I f-ing love this movie and it’s definitely one of my top 10 favorite films of all time. Unfortunately, the poster looks like it was made by a 14 year old playing around with Photoshop. In my opinion, it just doesn’t look epic or impressive enough for the film. The film itself was an epic masterpiece in cinema history, but the poster looks crappy. It looks like one of those cheap posters you’d see in the hallways of a high school advertising for stuff like anti-drug campaigns, military service, “talk to your counselor”, or universities.

Spider-man 2
The movie itself was alright, but just look at this photoshop disaster! Her thumb is small and weird, her hand is in an odd angle if you look at were her arm is going, and Spidey’s hand is way off to. Not to mention the fake looking cuts in his suits.

Victory
They’re trying to make the three leads for a “V”… but instead, it looks like all three are part of some freakish three-torsoed, Black Power-saluting hydra. Also, the multiple spellings and translations of “VICTORY” in the background just look like typos.

Soul Man
“Soul Man” is a really good high-concept comedy premise, with a white guy using tanning pills to turn himself black so he can get a free ride to Harvard. Of course, he finds out that being black is more than he bargained for. So why did the poster mention none of that and just chose to have mid-level movie star C. Thomas Howell stand there, in full-on honky mode, next to a completely irrelevant tagline? I have absolutely no idea.

Raiders of the Lost Ark
Apparently, for the first Indiana Jones movie, they thought it might be a good idea to market Indy as a clean-cut sales rep or Gap shirt folder who happens to hold a whip. I’ve seen some other posters for “Raiders” that use the correct Indiana Jones font and at least show him wearing a hat… possibly after this early poster made people wonder when Han Solo had time to go yuppie.

Righteous Kill
Here’s a movie with two of the biggest names in Hollywood finally starring onscreen together. Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are like a match made in heaven; their pairing should have made for an easy sell and an awesome movie. Then they came out with this poster and our hopes and dreams of awesomeness flew out the window. The studio snapped a picture of the duo looking quasi-badass but mostly looking bored, threw in a landscape shot of a city - because that’s important - and topped it off with a transparent image of a badge and a gun. There’s nothing about this poster that makes me want to see this movie, and I wasn’t the only one.

Changeling
The “A Clint Eastwood Film” is too small and illegible, and Angelina Jolie’s giant head appears to be sizing up the tiny boy in the corner for a snack, Godzilla-style. Does she want to eat this kid, pop off his head and drink down his bodily fluids? I have no idea. Plus, there’s a lot of white space going on here. Your eyes are naturally drawn to the middle, yet here the middle is blank. Then you veer to the left, and it’s a monster-sized Jolie head. And this was nominated for a few Academy Awards? Yikes

Jingle All the Way
In the ’80s, Arnold Schwarzenegger comedies were actually funny. In the ’90s, they were scary. Jingle All the Way was twice as scary because it was a comedy and a holiday movie wrapped into one. This poster sums up the movie fairly well, but since it’s a bad movie that makes for a bad poster. Nothing worse than taking screen captures from the final film, blurring out all but Sinbad from the crowd, replacing the background with a ton of white, and wrapping the whole thing with Christmas lights. And not even a single tagline to allude to what this movie is about

Urban Legend
Floating head posters are my all-time biggest pet peeve. I’m calling out Urban Legend because it’s a good example why floating head posters suck. However, it’s not the only one out there, and it won’t be the last either. There are six heads floating around an eye, divided by broken glass and text from newspaper clippings. Some heads are looking scared in one direction, some are looking directly at the camera, and others are looking dazed and confused. The tagline works well for the movie, but the overall image doesn’t. What do an eye and a broken glass have to do with urban legends? But most importantly, what’s up with all those floating heads? Slasher movies were a big contributor to the floating head phenomena, but it dipped into genres across the board after awhile. Please make it stop

Next
This poster is a combination of what’s wrong with all of the above. There’s the unnecessary city landscape at the bottom of the poster (Righteous Kill), Nicolas Cage’s giant head in contrast to Julianne Moore and Jessica Biel (Changeling), screen captures of Moore and Biel taken directly from the movie (Jingle All the Way), and everyone is staring off to the side with a little too much intensity and concentration (Urban Legend). I’m not gonna say this is the worse poster of all time, but I will say it’s downright awful. Throw in an explosion, Photoshop a mixture of blacks, blues, and whites, and give everyone equal billing - even though it’s obvious that Nic Cage, thanks to his enormous head, is the lead star - and you have yourself one train wreck of a movie poster

Prime
Just try to look at this and not laugh. It’s not even remotely convincing that these 3 actors were in the same region of the world when their photos were taken. Look at the alignment of the billing block. What? Absolutely nothing about this makes any sort of design sense. Three attractive (though not necessarily recognizable) faces and a poster that’s ugly in every way. The positioning of the names at the top is likely somebody’s awkward solution to a contractual obligation that Uma Thurman receive top billing. Relative size and arrangements of faces and names are often written into all parties’ contracts these days, presenting designers with… nightmares like this. Who could possibly have approved such flagrantly bad work?

Death At A Funeral
James Marsden’s miraculously disappearing neck (and bizarre lack of nipple), and the cardboard cut-outs of Rock, Wilson and Lawrence are the rubbish icing on an unconvincing poster cake.

The Accidental Husband
‘Sometimes Love Happens By Accident’. Yes, and sometimes 4-year olds are asked to use Photoshop. It’s not the blatant ‘three cut and paste photos in one’-ness that rankles, but the weird, disturbingly detached bouquet-holding hands emerging from left and right. Colin Firth looks like he’s drunk, having just had an arm transplant, while Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s appendage looks wooden.

Wanted/Juncture
The majority of artists, writers and performers are inherently lazy. So why design something new when you can just blatantly rip off someone else? 2007′s Juncture had a pretty cool poster, but as the thriller didn’t really set the world alight, 2008′s big-budget Angelina Jolie-starring blockbuster Wanted ‘borrowed’ off it liberally. Except in attempting to change it, they’ve only made it look weirder, with an ET-esque spindly elongated arm emerging from the bottom. Look at that again - that would mean Jolie has arms that drag along the floor by her feet. Sexy.

Jonah Hex
Using the wonder of Photoshop to erase the odd blemish or shave off the odd inch of cellulite is common practice in Hollywood. But Megan Fox is already smokin’ hot, so why they’ve decided to delete her rib cage is beyond us.

King Arthur
We get it – sex sells. But Keira Knightley hasn’t exactly been hit around the face with the ugly tree now, has she? So while UK audiences are more than happy to see her tomboyish physique, American audiences wouldn’t really get it – so they decided to digitally alter her boobs and shove some poundland henna tattoos onto her face and shoulder for the stateside release.

Venus
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! Put it away. Why won’t it stop looking at me? WHAT IS THAT?! Peter O’Toole perfecting the ‘I’ve just pooped myself’ look with disturbing aplomb.

The Whole Ten Yards
Bruce Willis’ facelift, skirt and bunny slippers, Matthew Perry’s completely inhuman visage, the creepy elderly Gollum in-between the two. The photoshopping is of such a poor standard, the whole poster looks like it’s been created by school children.

Blonde and Blonder
Everything. Seriously, everything. The grass, the shadows (seriously, the shadows), the keep off the grass sign, the appallingly crap tyre tracks, the golf buggy rotated 90 degrees (and boiling a kettle while it’s at it), the stuck-on heads, Denise’s deranged face, Pamela’s left knee, the screeching tyre on the golf bag, the unexplained geyser in the middle-distance…

Source :  http://www.fotomage.com

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