Sunday, May 22, 2011

So Much For Corporate Training

Memo to all employees

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T., please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAM of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.)
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING via SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LEADERSHIP LIST for SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.)

Thank You,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Now that you have read it, might as well you send this S.H.I.T. to others who need S.H.I.T. in their life, not just the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T. They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T.

Email received April 2009

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