by Kathy Benjamin
Everyone hopes that when they die it is peacefully in their
sleep, or surrounded by their loved ones. But no matter how you meet your
maker you can rest assured it probably won’t be like these people did.
The 16th century Dane Tycho Brahe is famous for his work in
astronomy, and the fact that he lost his nose in a duel. Despite his
interesting life, his death may be even more so. While historians are divided
about how he met his fate, legend has it that he died because he just couldn’t
bring himself to leave a party. In those days it was considered bad form to get
up before a meal was finished, and banquets could take hours. Brahe filled up
on wine but didn’t get up to use the bathroom, until eventually his bladder
burst. As uncouth as it might have been to leave during dinner, we can’t
imagine it was much better to die in the middle of one.
So Funny You Could Just Die
Numerous people in history are said to have died from
laughter. Just in case you’re too afraid to ever watch your favorite sitcom
again, most of these people had underlying heart conditions. In 1975,
Englishman Alex Mitchell laughed for almost half an hour straight at an episode
of The Goonies and then collapsed. His widow bore the show no ill will, though,
sending a thank you note for making his last minutes so enjoyable. In 2003, a
Thai man was having the funniest dream ever. He started laughing in his sleep
and even though his wife tried to wake him up he died while still unconscious
and still entertained by whatever was going on in his head.
The Ultimate Gamer
People all over the world are obsessed with computer games,
to the point that they lose sleep to keep playing them. But rarely are people
so engrossed in a videogame that they forget to eat, sleep, or look away from
the screen for days at a time. But one South Korean man did just that in 2005,
playing Starcraft at an internet café for 50 hours straight. He had already
been fired from his job since he forgot to show up once he started playing the
game, so he had all the time in the world. Witnesses said he only paused to use
the bathroom and to take power naps. The postmortem indicated he had died from
heart failure due to exhaustion.
Making a Point
Here’s a tip: if you work in a skyscraper, stay away from
the windows, even if they are supposed to be unbreakable. In 1993, Gary Hoy, a
Canadian lawyer, decided to prove to an office full of people that the windows
on their building were really solid. This was especially ridiculous since they
worked on the 24th floor. But Gary
did prove his point, because when he threw himself at a window he just bounced
right back. His big mistake was doing it again, just for emphasis. While the
window itself stayed solid, it popped out of its frame and he plummeted to his
death.
Old West Justice
Lots of people were shot to death in the old west, but very
few of them did it to themselves. Clement Vallandigham had an illustrious
career in politics although his opinions on the Civil War were so controversial
he was actually expelled from the Union. After
the war was over he returned to the law and in 1871 was defending a man accused
of shooting another in a bar fight. Vallandigham wanted to prove to the jury
that there was a possibility that the deceased had actually accidentally shot
himself. To do this he put a pistol in his pocket and recreated the man’s
movements in the fight. He proved his point a bit too well, as the gun went off
and killed him. His client was acquitted.
Crocs on a Plane
Tiny planes are dangerous. So are crocodiles. Combine the
two and you have a recipe for disaster. In 2010 a plane crashed in the Congo and
originally it appeared like they had run out of fuel. But the one survivor of
the crash told a different story. During the flight a crocodile escaped from
someone’s hand luggage. (He was probably smuggling it to sell illegally.)
Because crocodile have big pointy teeth, the 20 people on board panicked and
ran to the front of the plane. The sudden shift in weight threw the plane off
balance and the pilots were unable to regain control. Incidentally, the croc
survived the crash.
Not Monkeying Around
Parts of India
have a big monkey problem. As the population on the subcontinent explodes,
humans and animals are living in much closer proximity, and the monkeys are
fighting back. Attacks are relatively common in Delhi, but deaths less so. In 2007, however,
the Deputy Mayor of Delhi
himself was set upon. He was relaxing on his balcony when four monkeys
surrounded him slowly creeping closer before they attacked. Witnesses say he
tried to fight back with a newspaper, but they somehow managed to push him over
the edge and he died of wound sustained from the fall. Local politicians said
more had to be done to curb the “simian menace.” This sounds a lot like how Planet
of the Apes probably started.
Sexed to Death
It’s hard enough being married to one person, so the
pressure of keeping half a dozen spouses happy is probably almost unbearable.
One man in Nigeria
was literally forced to have sex with his six wives until it killed him. Last
year a man named Uroko Onoja came home at 3am and decided he wanted some alone
time with his youngest wife. But his five older wives felt he had been spending
too much time with her and invaded the room armed with knives. They demanded
their husband have sex with all of them, one at a time, right then and there,
starting with the youngest. Onoja managed to do the deed with four of them, but
as his fifth wife walked towards the bed he stopped breathing, killed from the
sheer exertion of keeping his women satisfied.
Eat Right, Die Anyway
A lot of people are obsessed with eating healthy and
exercising, in the hopes that they can put off the inevitable a bit longer. But
in some cases such dedication can be just as deadly as sitting on the couch all
day eating potato chips. In 1974, Englishman Basil Brown died of an overdose of
carrot juice. Brown, whose healthy eating regime involved drinking one gallon
of the stuff a day, had had an orange tint to his skin for some time. But
drinking one gallon of almost anything other than water a day isn’t great for
your liver, and after years of the practice it finally shut down.
One Gun Salute
John Kendrick had every reason to be happy as he sailed into
Honolulu
harbor. He had spent years on the sea, finding new trade routes, making friends
with native peoples, and sometimes fighting them, but usually winning. Now he
and his crew were coming to Hawaii
for a victory celebration. As his boat sailed into the harbor, other boats
fired their cannons as a welcome salute. Normally this involved removing the
actual cannonballs before lighting the fuse, so no one would get hurt. One boat
forgot this basic safety instruction though, and a cannonball ripped through
Kendrick’s ship, killing him and several crew members. Definitely not the best
victory parade ever seen.
Source : http://www.urbantitan.com
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