Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES
•If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
•If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
•When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £ 20, even though it's only for £ 32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
•When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Don't Be Selfish

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and:
ABRACADABRA!! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

10 Countries You Probably Never Heard About

10. Vanuatu, 90% of Vanuatu people household and consume fish, and 80% are living in rural, isolated villages with their own gardens and food supplies. Scuba diving is a very popular tourist attraction here. Tsunamis are not a rare thing in Vanuatu, and earthquakes have a negative affect on the country’s economy.

What Children Learn

Children Learn What They Live Through

How The Fight Started...

Case 1

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....

Why Teachers Are So Stressed

When in school we always wondered why teachers always seemed so mad.
Now we know the reason... They are so stressed out by kids.
Why??????? Read below the essays to know.
Interesting answers, given by children to make their teachers' world upside down.

How To Keep Your Cut Flowers Fresh

Is a copper penny the right choice to keep cut flowers fresh? Or is the little packet of flower food? An aspirin? What water temperature is best? What is the trick that will triple the lifespan of cut flowers? Often folk tips are based on good science. Learn about what works and what doesn’t, and why, to keep your cut flowers fresh, here.

Copper Penny, Aspirin, and Other Alternatives to Chemical Flower Food - The little packet of flower food are bactericides that kill the bacteria, yeasts, and fungi.

Here are tips of reaching this same goal without the chemicals:

The Philosophy Of House Cleaning

1. I don't do windows because I love birds and I don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

2. I don't wax floors because I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible, and they may sue me.

3. I don't mind the dust bunnies because they are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.

4. I don't disturb cobwebs because I want every creature to have a home of their own and my hubby loves spiders.

The Fisherman

Do we know where we are heading to in Life?

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked 'How long it took him to catch them?'

'Not very long,' answered the Mexican.

'But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?' asked the American. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

Happiest People

Dear Friends,
Learn something from this:

Just look at their condition: no place to sleep, still they have made some space for the cat n the dog...
Water pouring from the roof but still each one of them have a peaceful smile on their face..
Simply amazing!!!!!

Secrets Revealed

Did you know that Photoshop was invented way back in the 19th Century? Many historical current photos that you know of might not be actually what they seem!

One of the most famous photograph of Abraham Lincoln in 1860. But only his head was real in the picture as the body belongs to someone called John Calhoun.

Funny Slogans

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale........ Cheap............no strings attached.

Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. (they will look for you..)

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading.

Lessons In Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate
but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect....
But nobody's perfect....
so why practice?

Enjoy While You Can

How true this is....

Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter,
And winter seems much colder.

I rack my brain for happy thoughts
To put down on my pad.
But lots of things that come to mind
Just make me kind of sad.

Japlish

"JAPLISH" = JAPANESE ENGLISH

1. Very difficult to make up what it is about ?

Funny Road Signs (2)

More funny road signs found...

How funny is that?

The Basic Laws Of Work

The Basic Laws of Work that everyone should understand!

* A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

* Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

* It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

* After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

Milik Siapalah Ni?

Aduh....

Jiwang sangat tu....

Tea A "Healthier" Drink Than Water

The researchers recommend people consume three to four cups a day. Drinking three or more cups of tea a day is as good for you as drinking plenty of water and may even have extra health benefits, say researchers. The work in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition dispels the common belief that tea dehydrates.

Boy vs Girl Waking Up

Top rated funny teen boy-girl pictures defining the hilarious schedule of both boy and girl. These funny pictures describe the schedule of a girl and a boy, and the amount of time required to get ready for school or office. Boys behave like silly but they are pretty much quicker than girls. Anyways its just a joke, so hope you'd enjoy....

Car Logos - Then and Now

Some automobile manufacturers' logos, then and now

Volkswagen

Renault

Hadiah Untuk Boss

Tak suka pada Boss anda?
Anda rasa tertekan dengan tindakan boss anda?
Boss selalu mencari kesalahan anda?
Bagaimana nak balas dendam terhadap boss anda?

Mudah saja, belikan dia hadiah untuk harijadinya....

APA??? Belikan hadiah?
Itu ke cara untuk membalas dendam?

Betul, tapi bukan sembarangan hadiah.
Belikanlah dia barangan berjenama berikut:
Pasti dia akan memahami....

Life Support

Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room talking about the many things of life. In between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.

I said to her, "Darling, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die."

Who Is The Boss?

I suppose you'd read this over and over again, but its still worth reading again as a reminder...

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The Feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The Hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

The 7 Ups

1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.

2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

Husband Store

(Just a joke....)

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, Texas where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

Driving Styles

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window.
- Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn
- Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator. ..
- Boston

Undressing

How you get undressed reveals your personality. ...

1) throw your clothes all over the place

2) remove each piece of clothing and put it away carefully

3) take off the shirt, and ten minutes later get around to the pants

4) get out of your clothes as quickly as possible

5) take off your rings, earrings, necklace, watch, etcetera before anything else

6) don't have an undressing routine

Answers:

Wife

JUST A BIT OF HUMOUR FOR MEN. EVEN WOMEN CAN FIND SOME HUMOUR IN SOME OF THESE. SO ENJOY....

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Pendayung Sampan

Suatu hari, seorang Professor yang sedang membuat kajian tentang lautan menumpang sebuah sampan. Pendayung sampan itu seorang tua yang begitu pendiam. Professor memang mencari pendayung sampan yang pendiam agar tidak banyak bertanya ketika dia sedang membuat kajian.

Dengan begitu tekun Professor itu membuat kajian. Diambilnya sedikit air laut dengan tabung uji kemudian digoyang-goyang; selepas itu dia menulis sesuatu di dalam buku. Berjam-jam lamanya Professor itu membuat kajian dengan tekun sekali. Pendayung sampan itu mendongak ke langit. Berdasarkan pengalamannya dia berkata di dalam hati, "Hmm. Hari nak hujan."
"OK, semua sudah siap, mari kita balik ke darat" kata Professor itu.

Over 40

People over 40 should be dead. Here's why ...........
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

Rahsia Bantal

Terdapat beberapa ketegori rahsia bantal dan perwatakan:-

1) Memeluk Bantal

Mereka yang suka memeluk bantal biasanya berjiwa seni. Mereka mempunyai penghargaan yang tinggi terhadap lukisan, muzik dan sastera. Perasaan mereka halus dan jiwa mereka romantik. Kadangkala ada yang boleh membaca peristiwa yang akan berlaku melalui mimpi. Mereka juga sangat prihatin terhadap kesusilaan.

Nama Kampung Pelik

Kampung Imam Lapar
(Petikan dari Berita Harian Online : http://www.bharian.com.my/bharian/articles/ImamLapardiTerengganu_/Article)

Imam Lapar di Terengganu?
Oleh Azman Mahmood
azmanm@bharian.com.my
2010/10/31

Desa di Mukim Telemong berkait rapat kisah pedagang dan perkataan 'laper' atau hafaz

BENARKAH ada peristiwa berlakunya kejadian imam yang lapar di Terengganu sehingga memungkinkan satu tempat diperuntukkan dengan kejadian berkenaan? Apa yang pasti, nama Kampung Imam Lapar di Mukim Telemong, Kuala Berang, memang wujud dan menjadi tanda tanya terutama bagi orang luar dari kampung itu dan luar Terengganu kerana nama kampung itu seperti benar-benar menggambarkan sejarah kampung itu mempunyai imam yang hidupnya sentiasa dalam kelaparan.

Funny Road Signs

I believe thats typical in Baghdad

Do accidents happen on purpose?

One way? Which way?

The Fern And The Bamboo

One day I decided to quit. I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. I wanted to quit my life. So I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God, can you give me one good reason not to quit.”

His answer surprised me. "Look around. Do you see the fern and the bamboo"

"Yes" I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seed, I took very good care of them. I gave them light, I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. It's brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

What Does Love Mean?

Slow down for three minutes to read this.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

Believe In Your Dreams

Call People by Name.
The sweetest music to anyone's ears is the sound of his/her own name.

Be Alert to give Service.
What we do for others counts most in life.

If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!

Learn to understand first and to be understood second.

Don't underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around....

Life ends when you stop Dreaming,
Hope ends when you stop Believing,
Love ends when you stop Caring,
Friendship ends when you stop Sharing.

Think Again....

If you think you are unhappy, look at them

If you think your salary is low, how about her?

The Rose Within

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it. He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects. We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

FRIEND

Faithful
A friend is always faithful to you, even during the bad times.

Reliable
A friend is reliable; you can count on them to always be there.

In touch
A friend stays in touch, even though it may not be as often as you'd like!

Interesting Comparison

Look At The Food They Bought For One Week And The Number Of Persons In The Family

GERMANY:The Melander family of Bargteheide - 2 adults, 2 teenagersFood expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or $500.07

Getting Along With Your Son

According to experts in family relationships they recommend the following strategies to bring up your son:

1. Be his friend.
2. Expose him to various situations.
3. Let him decide what he wants to do in life.
4. Make him a hero.
5. Encourage him to read.
6. Have good friends for his sake.
7. Forgive his mistakes.
8. Give him your time.
9. Don't criticize him in front of others.
10. Teach him to be responsible.
11. Teach him to learn to lose and to enjoy winning.
12. Don't mollycoddle him.
13. Don't make comparisons.
14. Put yourself in his shoes.

From an email received May 2008

Happens For A Reason

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you…

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Microsoft Magic Facts

MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the computer which can be named as "CON". This is something pretty cool, and unbelievable. TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE "CON" FOLDER

MAGIC #2
This is something pretty cool. At Microsoft, the whole Team including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened! Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)And then press ENTER

Jika Harga Minyak Terus Naik

Jika harga minyak terus naik...
sudah tiba masanya anda bertukar kepada kereta hybrid.

Masalahnya, harga kereta jenis hybrid sekarang masih terlalu tinggi dan tidak mampu dimiliki oleh kebanyakan penduduk negara ini.

Honda Accord Hybrid. Cantik, modern dan efisyen tetapi harga masih terlalu tinggi...

Kini, jangan risau lagi; telah keluar satu model kereta hybrid yang mampu dimiliki, jauh lebih murah daripada model-model yang sedia ada dalam pasaran sekarang...

Memperkenalkan model hybrid Trabant....


Email drpd: "khair isma" june_1667@yahoo.com (Dec 2010)